Challenges and Triumphs

Since arriving in Spain, I've faced a variety of personal challenges that either I didn't expect or I didn't think would impact me as much as they have been. For example, of course I knew there would be a language barrier while I worked on improving my Spanish, but I didn't expect to encounter so many people that seem irritated with or, at the very least, apathetic to having to interact with me when I try to speak to them. It's discouraging for me because I want to improve by talking to other people who live in Granada, but I feel like the only person here who is patient enough to talk to me is my host mom Belen. I've been feeling pretty isolated the past couple of days and it's getting harder to solve problems on my own. I usually just end up calling my mom or my boyfriend to complain because I don't feel like I can come up with a solution, so the only thing I can do is to vent to people who understand me back home. My anxiety has increased a lot from being confused and frustrated for 90% of my day, every day of the week, and I'm facing new health problems that I don't know how to handle. This is made more intimidating by the fact that I can't just go to the doctor or the pharmacy to figure out what's wrong because I don't know how to articulate the problems I'm having in Spanish.

I suppose that the upside to feeling so isolated is that I'm beginning to develop a stronger sense of independence in certain environments. Yes it's frustrating not being able to ask for help when I need it, but I feel more comfortable walking around on my own, I enjoy grabbing coffee by myself, and knowing that the store clerks don't seem to want to spend too much time helping me has given me more freedom to shop around in stores knowing I won't be bothered. Another triumph for me is when I can apply grammar and vocabulary that I've learned in class to conversations I have with my host mom. She always makes a point of letting me know that she's proud of me for improving with my Spanish, and that reassurance has been a saving grace for me during this educational process. At dinner the other night I told her that the food was very good and that "me gusta un huevo." We learned in class that day that the phrase "un huevo" means "a lot" so if you like something "un huevo" you like it a lot. My host mom couldn't stop laughing and she was so impressed that we were learning how to use popular Spanish slang.

While I feel like I'm encountering more challenges than triumphs right now, I'm confident that by the end of the trip I will be proud of myself for how much I have accomplished.

My amazing host mom Belen, my roommate Frankie, and me.